Dear sir(s) or madam(s),
If you insist on buying these gigantic, "luxury" SUVs (Lexus, Infinity, Cadillac, Lincoln, or god forbid H2) please at least have the common decency to drive over the 12 foot wide, 3 inch tall neighborhood speed hump (not the 6" wide 6" tall, bone-jarring kind) somewhat faster than 0.02 MPH. Both you and your ultra-plush behemoth will survive the encounter. I promise.
(Coalition of People Who Aren't Afraid of Speed Humps, LLC)