I went to the grocery store tonight. It's one of those grocery stores that has the little covered cheese samples (complete with toothpicks so you don't have to use your grubby ass hands). Tonight, I happened to see a guy pick up a couple of pieces of cheese with his fingers and pop them into his mouth. No biggie, right? Right. I mean, I'm not that much of a fancy pants. I admit, in my youth, to having dipped into the bulk food barrels for handfuls of Whoppers and Sweedish Fish. But no lie, when this freak scratched his armpit with the same hand he just used in the cheese dish, I nearly lost my lunch.

School in the summertime, this bastard had no class. Yuck.