Wednesday, May 25, 2005

dummm dummm dummm, dum de dum, dum de dum

So I did it. I saw the final Star Wars. Everybody's heard all of the reviews, so I won't get into it too deep. But I just wanted to share a couple of things (spoiler free...I think).

Why, why, why, oh why didn't Lucas see fit to share some of the writing or directing with somebody who could actually write or direct? I'm pretty fucking furious at him. This was the culmination of a large chunk of my childhood, and goddamnit, it should have been an Oscar quality performance! A fucking masterpiece! I wanted to walk out of that theater in tears, feeling like I just got hit in the stomach with a baseball bat *and* that my dog just died, becuase of all the loss I felt. We deserve that. Fucking *I* deserve that. The story was there (besides what he did to it in the first two pre-quils). The emotion was there (if not in the the audience). The myth practically did all of the work for him. It was his to blow. And he tried like hell to blow it.

I mean, really, Natalie Portman has been acting, and acting well, since she was what? 12 years old (think "The Professional"). Lucas must have had to work hard to suck the life out of her, so she wouldn't outshine the wooden Hayden Christiansen. I heard Hayden's abilities summed up quite well elsewhere "that guy couldn't act his way out of a paper bag". I agree. Samuel Jackson...same deal as Natalie. He's a good actor. It must be a lot of work to quash that. George came through tho. Of all the bad acting, I'd say Ewan was the best. Not necessarliy good, but better than the rest of the cast. Tho some of the situations Obi Wan was put in were just dumb.

Even with all the bad, I was still almost choked up at the birth of Vader. I mean, there it was, the beginning. As bad as most of the acting was, my emotion at that moment was still enough to make me gasp. That part was well done. I was a bit concerned leading up to it that Lucas would pull a Lucas and do something dumb, but thankfully, he didn't.

What else did I like...hrm. Well, I really really liked seeing the origins of a lot of the ships and vehicles. That was cool. You could totally say "oh, yeah, that ship is the predicessor of this ship". There were some other homages to the original Star Wars that were more obvious, but worked pretty well anyway. And like I said earlier, the story practically wrote itself for Lucas. It was cool to see everything come together. I wish it would have done so with more believable emotion from the actors, but enough with the dead horse beating already, eh?

So, would I recommend it? Definitely, if for no other reason than closure. Can I say I liked the movie? Yes, again definitely. Was I entertained? Yup. Would I call it a "good" movie? Not necessarily. An attempt at a movie that had every opportunity to be good? Yes. Would I see it again in the theater? Yes. For full ticket price? Nope. If you've been in for the first five, you can't really bail out now, especially if you sat through those last two pieces of shit. Also, the visuals are stunning (usually) as one would expect. If you wait for the DVD, you're gonna miss a lot of that.

So I sit here sad. Sad becuase it's a f*ckin' downer movie. And sad becuase it wasn't as good as it should have been.


You know what, thinking back on the movie now (the morning after, if you will) I have to take back what I said about Ewan/Obi Wan. His lines and dialogue were just as dead/poorly delivered as the rest of the cast's. I guess that leaves Yoda as the best actor of the bunch. And even his dialogue left something to be desired. I think it's pretty telling of a director's directing ability when the best actor in his crowning achievement work is a computer generated character.