Things I don't need
I don't need to have the receptionist at work say to me "that was a quick trip for you" when I pass her, go into the men's restroom, wash my hands, then go back out to the office (passing her again). Because that implies that there are days when she's thinking "Jesus H. Christ, he was in there for an hour and a half today, and he looks like he's lost 10 pounds. He must have had a rough night of drinking topped off with a Ultimo Burrito with extra salsa last night". Thankfully, she's been kind enough to keep these thoughts to herself. So far.